Gordon Brown Resigns
Gordon Brown has unexpectedly stepped down as Prime Minister. In an emotional farewell he praised himself for his running of the economy.
Onlookers noticed a hint of bitterness as the former MP for Dunfermline East suggested that much of the UK’s economic ills were the fault of the previous Chancellor.
Gordon Brown stated that “before I was crowned PM, the Chancellor was in power for ten years and two months…making him the longest-serving Chancellor in modern history”
He went on to blame the previous Chancellor for his failed ‘Five Economic Tests’ and the infamous ‘end to boom and bust’ speech.
Mr Brown continued his unprecedented attack on the Chancellor, who served from 1997 to 2007, for selling more than half of the UK’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market.
Former PM, Tony Blair, heaped praise on his fellow Scot, “Gordon is special”. With a tear in his eye Mr Blair continued, “I wish Gordon had dropped VAT to 15% when I was in office, life would have been so much easier”.
Looking back over the years he has certainly been a respected Statesman:
“I don’t know whether this is going to come as a disappointment to him, but he can’t actually fire me”, Peter Mandelson on being asked if he was worried about being sacked when Gordon Brown became Prime Minister
“Peter said he had no desire to destroy Gordon, but he had no doubt whatsoever Gordon was determined to destroy him”, The Alistair Campbell Diaries
“He’s not the dour Scottish man that you described”, George Bush on meeting Gordon Brown
We look forward to some inspiring talks as Gordon hits the after dinner speech circuit.